After getting online and placing my Kroger Clicklist order it was my time to pick up. I gathered the babies in the car and we started driving. We pulled into our spot and I got out to put the third row seats down. While I was out I had to call and let them know I was there and what spot I was in. After telling them my name 56842 times they finally got it. While attempting to put my seats down, the first one went down with ease, the second one appeared to be stuck on something.
Turns out, that something was my 5-year-old spawn. She got out of her car seat and was now stuck under the seat I had released to push down. We finally got her out and she had locked the seat back in the upright position after I was already back in the front seat… WHAT. THE. FUCK.
She begins to scream at the top of her lungs because she wants the seat back down. Well, little miss, if you wouldn’t have tried to hide under the damn thing and cried because you were stuck, it would already be down. At this point I have my 3 and 5 year olds jumping around the car like fricken ping-pong balls. Yelling while all my windows were down. The other 3 cars full of quiet respectable judgmental cunts are staring at me and silently judging me and my children that are acting like they are animals.
FINALLY, they come out to put my groceries in my car, they bring my receipt and inform me they didn’t have the fruit snacks I wanted so they did not give me any. Well that is just not acceptable, these kids will lose their god damn minds if we get home and don’t have fruit snacks. I told her to just got get me the biggest box of whatever they have…so I sat and waited for another 7 minutes! Those 7 minutes seemed like an hour with the screaming and judgments coming from around me.
When the time had finally come for them to load the groceries in my car I stepped out and tried to wrangle the 3-year-old into his seat, he turned into a combination of a screaming banshee and a limp spaghetti noodle and could not sit in his seat. I told him, I am going to put you back in your little baby car seat so you cannot get out anymore. He informed me with his shrieking he wanted a baby seat again. Good, ya little shit. I am going to duct tape you to it! (Just kidding I wouldn’t actually do that). Finally, I got him buckled and he stayed, thank the fucking sky wizard!
The poor teenage girl who was loading my groceries looked so scared during all the kicking and screaming and hell fire that was coming out of the little spawns in my car. She kindly said have a wonderful day miss. Excuse me bitch, have you not experienced the past 5 minutes while you are throwing shit in my car, I will not have a good day. This will be my life until 7:30 tonight…the screaming, tired, crying, shrieking of my little banshees.
This. This friends is why I pay $4.95 for someone else to get my groceries and load them in the car. Because taking these animals shopping is not acceptable.
P.S. Tulip, clear your god damn notifications. Faqqqqqqqqqqqqqq!
Peach Sauce 