Yesterday while I stood leaning up against the counter waiting for somebody to enter the store, bored as usual, the door opens in a magical creature walks in. This man was tall and wearing a rainbow colored hat! He slowly walks over to the stroker section.
Against my better judgement, while I was silently judging him because he was wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers coat, I walked over trying to be nice even though I had no desire to talk to someone wearing that garbage. We began discussing why he was in the store and what exactly he was looking for. We talked about fleshlights and blowup dolls.
Let me tell you, he was hilarious. Helping this guy find the toy for his next orgasm was probably the best experience ever. While we were talking he informed me he popped his blow up mattress and woke up on a flat piece of plastic. That’s always a great way to start your day.
Not only does his nonexistent bed suck according to him- his sex life does too. When he was 18 he “had sex with a big fatty for a cheeseburger.” I’ve never felt better about myself. So he finally settles on the perfect toy. Jason, go big or go home, walked out of the store with the Bad girls love Anal vibrating ass. Who doesn’t want a highly fake asshole to stick their dick in?!
This man is a unicorn and may be my new best friend ever though he doesn’t know it.
Peach Sauce 